Slate.com has an advice column, Dear Prudence, that I really enjoy. Well, until recently I really enjoyed it. The author, Margo Howard (Ann Lander's daughter), left a few months ago. She was replaced by Emily Yoffe, who normally writes a Slate column where she tries and fails at unusual jobs, with hilarious results.
Surprisingly, making fun of weird jobs doesn't turn out to be great experience for writing an advice column. Normally I find her advice merely uninspired, but the most recent column included a real stinker. A woman wrote to ask for advice on how to fend off people who insist that she should have children as soon as she gets married, even though she and her fiance are in agreement in not wanting kids.
Yoffe's response was to hector the woman on how everyone is right, she really ought to have children. Yoffe's argument was totally nonsensical: she said that marriage changes everything, so the woman should change her mind about kids. Why does she need to be told to have children if putting on a wedding ring will magically cause a change of heart? Won't the desire for children happen on its own? And if it won't, then why is Yoffe trying to encourage the production of unwanted children?
The last line of the advice was what really pissed me off: "The people who know and love you best hope you and your husband have children—that alone makes it something worth considering." So anyone who gets married should have kids they don't want, because the people around them think they should? Let's try that same sentiment with other life choices:
"The people who know and love you best hope you join their fundamentalist church—that alone makes it something worth considering."
"The people who know and love you best hope you marry someone of your own race—that alone makes it something worth considering."
"The people who know and love you best hope you give up your life's dream to work in the family business—that alone makes it something worth considering."
"The people who know and love you best hope you stop being gay—that alone makes it something worth considering."
Wow, that's some great advice. On the bright side, Margo Howard is still doing an advice column.
3 Comments
Holy shit. I am SO posting that link to childfree_zone! What a classless act.
what a piece of work. my personal favorite part of the column is:
No one has parents who say, "I hope my child grows up to marry someone wonderful and they don't have children together."
guess what? my mother has said that EXACT THING to me. when pressed, and under the influence of a couple of strong mojitoes, she admitted that she wants me to be in a happy marriage, but not have children.
"prudie" needs to get a clue-die.
good lord! your description irked me so much i couldn't bear to even read the original column! grr!
oddly enough, i heard an old "this american life" episode today called 'advice'. it was about getting and giving advice (natch), and the most interesting segment was by dan savage. among other things, he talked about what it takes to write an advice column.
the episode is about halfway down this page:
http://thislife.org/pages/archives/archive99.html